Chaos

Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Long Run (I know, it’s been awhile since you’ve heard from me).

It’s been an action-packed several months since moving to New York, and I’ve taken some time away from the blog for a while to focus on work (it’s super busy over here in startup land), as well as immersing myself in all sorts of new experiences and generally just saying “yes” to every opportunity to try something or meet someone new.

However, with those changes in daily life, the blog has taken a backseat. While consistency is key in almost anything we do, feeling the need to publish every week started to feel more like a chore and less of a fun thing I did because I truly enjoyed it, and I think the quality suffered as a result.

After much time away, I’ve started to feel pulled back to wanting to write again. Will this be a weekly thing like it used to be? Probably not. And that’s fine. But I’ll be back posting sporadically, whenever I feel like I have something remotely interesting to say.

So with that, let’s hop into it.

Another year

Last month, I turned 25 years old.

25 is a little frightening because it feels significant – if I’m lucky enough to live to 100, I’m over a quarter of the way through life now.

While some things change significantly (moving to a new city, meeting a lot of new people, changing my lifestyle a bit), a lot of things actually stay the same. You discover more about yourself, you realize a lot of the things you used to stress about probably don’t matter as much as you had originally thought, and you start to gain a better appreciation for what’s important.

I can say that, without a doubt, living in New York, I place a far greater emphasis on my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones than I previously had. Similarly, simply by the nature of being immersed in a city full of hard-working, ambitious people, I work more and sleep less than I did living on the west coast. Such is life.

What all of those changes have in common is that they take the most finite resource we have at our disposal – time.

And the scary thing about time is that our perception of it makes it feel like it goes by faster the longer we’ve lived.

In New York, time operates under different laws compared to most other parts of the world. A day in New York is not like a day in North Carolina or Los Angeles. The energy, the sheer density of people, and the urgency everyone lives with seems to make time pass even faster. I’ve lived here almost a year now, and it feels both as if I just got here and as if I’ve been here for a decade.

That energy creates chaos. And as the natural human tendency is to re-establish order in chaos, it’s a constant effort to change – to want more, to want to level up, to want to keep up with those around you.

And it doesn’t stop. If you’re not careful, pretty soon 20 years have passed, you’re 45 years old, and sitting there wondering what happened. Where did all the time go? All of your hopes, dreams, and things you wanted to do, still waiting to be done.

You still have your whole life ahead of you, but certain experiences are best had at certain phases of life.

On the flip side of the coin, 25 years old is still quite young. Most people in the world are older than you. You have many years to come. You’ve spent the past few years establishing a strong foundation and habits that you will likely carry with you for the rest of your life.

While chaos is often seen as a bad thing, I think it can actually be a positive when harnessed properly. It can force you out of your comfort zone and to try new things (like spontaneously signing up for a race with friends, joining a new gym to push yourself to new physical limits, or finding yourself at a house party in Brooklyn at 2 in the morning). It can force you to advance in your career when you’re surrounded by others wanting to do the same.

Chaos can be overwhelming when it’s new, but dealing with it everyday forces you to recognize that oftentimes it’s out of your control. And if it’s not in your control, it’s not worth worrying over.

Being immersed in chaos has made me realize that what has happened to us in the past no longer really matters. We can learn from it, but we shouldn’t dwell on it. Conversely, in an environment filled with chaos, what is going to happen in the future is even more uncertain than it was before. We can (and should) prepare for that inevitable future, but we shouldn’t worry too much about it.

The only thing that really matters is, right now, at this moment, what am I going to do about it? What actions can I take today that will equip me to better handle the chaos that inevitably will come? And how can intentionally immersing myself in the chaos help me to become more comfortable with it? To even crave it?

Not to bring it back to running (though that’s exactly what I’m doing), the best way to get more comfortable running fast (“chaos”) is to run fast more often. The trick is to toe the line of doing it just enough that you’re pushing yourself but not getting hurt. And the best runners are the ones that are able to toe that line for years on end.

Stretching yourself with your job and working hard (“chaos”), just hard enough to consistently keep going without burning out, and being able to do so for years on end – that’s where the magic happens.

Forcing yourself to say yes to new opportunities & social events (“chaos”), even if you’re tired or don’t feel like it, because sometimes luck lends itself to those who just put themselves out there more – maybe you’ll find someone or something that can change the trajectory of your life.

Chaos is not something to be feared — what are seemingly random events are actually governed by a set of rules and laws that (although complex and unpredictable) shape the world around us in often subtle and unexpected ways. This can be a good thing. It makes life interesting.

For me, 25 is about embracing the chaos to expand the array of opportunities that might come my way, while accepting that many things are out of my control – and that’s totally okay.

Grateful to live in a place filled with chaos, and in a country that offers us the freedom to embrace it.

Happy Fourth,

-Owen

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